texts from last night in your dashboard
(228): they just did a mariachi cover of free bird


5 hours ago
3 notes
(407): Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs…. Pretty much my only aspirations in life.


5 hours ago
4 notes
(505): you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.


6 hours ago
10 notes
(859): Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!


9 hours ago
5 notes
(618): Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake


10 hours ago
1 note
(508): There’s a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?


5 hours ago
0 notes
(412): dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop


6 hours ago
8 notes
(775): He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
(856): Restraining orders are what college is about.


6 hours ago
7 notes
(865): I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.


10 hours ago
3 notes
(908): This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me


10 hours ago
2 notes